Lots of friends and family say thing like “twins, I don’t know how you do it”or “twins, I can’t imagine”. I’ll tell you exactly how I do it, and spoiler alert, I’m not a one woman show. I will say this…I don’t mind patting myself on the back for choosing the best partner imaginable, but other than that, I am just fortunate.
My husband, my rock, scored a job that allows him to work from home. Now, Marv does have to do a little travel and has appointments that take him away from home, but it isn’t often, and when he’s home, he’s amazing. His mama raised him right. Marv does everything for the babies and he even washes my pump parts and all of the baby bottles at the end of the day. He actually has a very sweet bath time ritual for the boys, and I love that he has that time with them. Above all, he is present, and I appreciate having a partner that is cherishing this time as much as I am.
On a daily basis, my dad is there for us. My dad treats being a grandpa like the best job he has ever had. First and foremost, he moved from California to Washington and bought a house ten minutes away from us. The babies were born in March and he closed on the house in April–he’s been here since day one. He comes over every day during the week around 9:30 and stays until around 5:30. My dad changes diapers, feeds the babies, goes with me to baby class, will stop at the market if we need anything, and he takes the dogs out for potty breaks. We are so lucky to have him here and so involved.
For those of you keeping score, that’s THREE adults and TWO babies.
Most of the time there are at least two of us caring for the babies, but there are times when I’m alone. Often, I’m only on my own for a few hours. Mornings are actually kind of amazing and among some of my favorite moments. I love looking at Dominic holding his own bottle and stroking his hair, while gazing down at Giovanni nursing and playing with my necklace. And, to see them sitting side by side in their high chairs, eating like big boys, is so sweet. It can get tricky and sometimes there is more crying when I’m alone, but babies cry and it is okay. I always remind the boys that “mama has two babies” and that I’m doing my best.
I wonder if I can enjoy moments alone because I know that help is on the way. Sometimes, I call myself a “twin mom poser” because I’m not like other twin moms, toting two car seats into Target or wearing two babies at once. I need to stop that, I’m not being kind to myself. Every mama’s journey is different, and you do your best to give your babies the best life possible. That’s it. You don’t need to be Superwoman.