I’m No Superwoman

Lots of friends and family say thing like “twins, I don’t know how you do it”or “twins, I can’t imagine”. I’ll tell you exactly how I do it, and spoiler alert, I’m not a one woman show. I will say this…I don’t mind patting myself on the back for choosing the best partner imaginable, but other than that, I am just fortunate.

My husband, my rock, scored a job that allows him to work from home. Now, Marv does have to do a little travel and has appointments that take him away from home, but it isn’t often, and when he’s home, he’s amazing. His mama raised him right. Marv does everything for the babies and he even washes my pump parts and all of the baby bottles at the end of the day. He actually has a very sweet bath time ritual for the boys, and I love that he has that time with them. Above all, he is present, and I appreciate having a partner that is cherishing this time as much as I am. 

On a daily basis, my dad is there for us. My dad treats being a grandpa like the best job he has ever had. First and foremost, he moved from California to Washington and bought a house ten minutes away from us. The babies were born in March and he closed on the house in April–he’s been here since day one. He comes over every day during the week around 9:30 and stays until around 5:30. My dad changes diapers, feeds the babies, goes with me to baby class, will stop at the market if we need anything, and he takes the dogs out for potty breaks. We are so lucky to have him here and so involved. 

For those of you keeping score, that’s THREE adults and TWO babies. 

Most of the time there are at least two of us caring for the babies, but there are times when I’m alone. Often, I’m only on my own for a few hours. Mornings are actually kind of amazing and among some of my favorite moments. I love looking at Dominic holding his own bottle and stroking his hair, while gazing down at Giovanni nursing and playing with my necklace. And, to see them sitting side by side in their high chairs, eating like big boys, is so sweet. It can get tricky and sometimes there is more crying when I’m alone, but babies cry and it is okay. I always remind the boys that “mama has two babies” and that I’m doing my best. 

I wonder if I can enjoy moments alone because I know that help is on the way. Sometimes, I call myself a “twin mom poser” because I’m not like other twin moms, toting two car seats into Target or wearing two babies at once. I need to stop that, I’m not being kind to myself. Every mama’s journey is different, and you do your best to give your babies the best life possible. That’s it. You don’t need to be Superwoman.

Life with Two Tiny Humans

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The last time I shared a post, the boys were 3 months old, and so much has changed since then as we approach their first birthday. I have missed writing here and sharing about our life, so I have given the blog a new look and will be sharing as much as possible about what’s going on here. I will, of course, be more focused on motherhood, but I will still share about cooking and food, secondhand finds, home renovations and decor, and our adventures. For any of you that are new here, allow me to fill you in a bit.

After a long struggle with infertility, the combination of an amazing doctor and his team of nurses along with tremendous support from family and friends, we hit the baby jackpot and became pregnant with twins. Our boys are the greatest gift imaginable and our lives are forever changed. Giovanni is spunky and curious, while Dominic is sweet and soulful, and their love for each other is clear. Dominic was born with Down Syndrome, so not only are we new to parenthood and twin life, but we are also a part of this wonderfulย Down Syndrome community.

Back when I was writing more regularly, we were in the first home we purchased, enjoying Taco Tuesdays, I worked full time, and my adventures involved lattes and concerts. Nowadays, we are in our forever home, and as a full time stay at home mom, I cook more often than Tuesdays and it’s not usually tacos, and our adventures are leisurely walks and sometimes include farm animals. Life has evolved into something new and it’s pretty amazing.

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I do hope that you’re along for this new ride with me and my tribe.

xo

 

Perfect Moments

The boys take a lengthy nap in the mornings, so I’m able to shower, eat breakfast and prepare for the day. Yesterday was not the smoothest of mornings, but we won’t get into that. Today has included one of those perfect moments, and I think I will remember it forever. 

I heard Dominic’s stirring go from quiet and content to angry and loud. As I picked him up from his crib, he stopped crying immediately and buried his sweet face into my chest. I held him close and took in his amazing baby smell. We walked from room to room, talking about what we saw, pointing out family members in photos. We eventually ended up in the living room and snuggled up on the couch. The quiet in the house was something I rarely hear. There were no barking dogs, no babbling baby noises, no hum of a rock n play baby seat, and no chatter of the television. 

We sat there together and I told him the story of how I met Marv, how we fell in love, and how badly we wanted to expand our family and have babies. I told him how hard it was to do something that seemed so natural and simple. I told him how happy we were to learn that we were going to have two babies. And most importantly, I cried a little as I told him how wanted and loved him and his brother are. I told him how special and perfect we think he is. 

I’d love to say that he fell asleep in my arms at that moment, but this isn’t a movie, this is real life. Really, I had to put him in the Bjorn to get him to sleep because I was starving and had to eat some breakfast. In real life with twins, moments like this don’t happen often, or at least they haven’t for me up to this point. I find it hard to have quiet moments with one baby, but today…today, I did. I will always cherish this perfect moment. 

xo

Sweetness.

I have kept something from friends and family. I have not done this on purpose and some people do know, but for those who don’t, it is not because you aren’t important to me or because we aren’t close. I have kept this to myself because I didn’t know how to say it, when to say it, or how you would react. So, here it is…our Dominic was diagnosed with Down Syndrome. 

First and foremost, we are not sad, angry or disappointed, and he is more than we could have ever imagined. Our boys are the sweetest, most wonderful gift and we would not change a thing. The love we have for our boys is unreal. Dominic is totally healthy, without heart problems, thyroid issues, or breathing problems, and he passed his hearing test and has been a great eater from the start. We have been so lucky so far.

At this point, milestones are becoming more important and clear to see, so we are beginning to become a part of the DS community so we can use therapy and play to nurture him as much as possible. Lucky for him, he has a twin brother with whom he can learn and play.  

I’m happy to put this out there because maybe some other mamas will see it and share advice, or maybe I can help an expectant mama, and maybe it will help us connect more with the DS community. 

People’s reactions have been interesting, so by writing this, I’m hoping to avoid some hurtful and ignorant ones. First off,  we don’t want or need to “fix” Dominic. Secondly, we are not joking, so please don’t say “shut up”. Lastly, we are not sorry, so please don’t say that you are. I think I just want you to ask if he’s healthy so I can boast about just how healthy he is. Or maybe you could ask anything you would ask a mom of any 3 1/2 month old…does he like tummy time? Actually, yes, he does! You could ask if he’s smiling, so I can show you pictures. You could ask if he’s cooing, but you’ve been warned, I have videos and your heart might burst from all the cuteness. 

I don’t have all the answers, I just know how I feel, so I can share about our experience, and I’m happy to do that.

xo

Breakfast thoughts.

Breakfast is one of the few weekday meals that I get to really enjoy and savor. The boys are usually sleeping, so I sip coffee and enjoy the quiet, thinking about what I need to do for the day. This particular morning I thought a lot about this blog and what it should be.

When I first started writing, I was a new blog reader, and I think I tried too hard to emulate the blogs I enjoyed so much. Although putting together and writing posts was fun, not all of them were from the heart. If there is one thing I’ve embraced at this point in life, it’s just being comfortable and confident with who I am. As a new mama, there are endless opportunities to question or doubt yourself, and because I’ve taken my husband’s lead, I’m focusing on trusting my instincts. 

So, what do you have to look forward to? I will just share things as they come. Currently, I’m unhappy with my squishy postpartum body, so perhaps I’ll share how I intend to remedy that. (Operative word here is intend because we all know how I feel about donuts.) I’m really into this whole capsule wardrobe idea and that could be because Most of my clothes don’t fit, but perhaps we will give that a go. I’ll share what’s cooking in my kitchen and any fun home projects that can be accomplished for $0, or somewhere in the extremely cheap price range. We did a spending freeze for one month, so maybe I will write about that. Maybe I will just write about my gorgeous twinkies and post photos because a large portion of my day is spent admiring them and taking photos of them. 

I’m not saying that I’m the craftiest, an amazing cook, a fashionista, or a parent extraordinaire, but I am looking forward to sharing all about what we are up to and how I’m making the most of each day. That hasn’t changed, and I hope it never will. Finding the beauty in the greyest of days is a part of who I am.

Happy Friday!

xo

Enough.

Some days you feel like a rockstar, like someone is setting them up so you can knock them down. You get through your to do list with ample time and make plenty of time for smiles and laughter. 

Some days you are chasing an impossible schedule, can’t remember what you need to do and just feel like a failure. 

I am enjoying one of the latter today. I have chosen to be 5 minutes late to work so I can snuggle my babies for one more moment and write this post. Make time for what you love, right? 

You are always enough. Take it easy on yourself, I know I am.

xo

Nearly Three Months In…


Here we are, nearly three months in to being a family of four. We have had a blast and feel so lucky to be parents to these handsome boys.

My thoughts about being a mom to twin boys? I have heard people say things like, “twice blessed”, “twice as much love”, “double the love”, but for us, it’s all we know. Since we struggled for so long, I am just tremendously happy and humbled to be a mom.

Just like with one baby, we have some nights in which sleep is a distant memory. We have days when you look at them and wonder where the time went and how the heck they got so big. Unlike singleton mamas, there are days when I wish I had four arms, so I could snuggle and comfort them both at the same time. That is probably the hardest thing. I’m rarely alone with the boys because I have an amazing support system, but when I am and they are both fussy, it’s hard to know that I can’t make them both feel better. But, this comes with the territory, and it’s just one more thing to figure out and overcome. You just try things and figure out what works. Isn’t that motherhood, in a nutshell?

At this point, I’m easing back into work, struggling to get my body (or something close to it) back, and loving being a mama. Life is settling, getting out is easier, and I care again about things like socializing and washing my hair. It sounds crazy, but I swear to you that I was averaging a shower every other day and washing my hair three times a week. For those that know me, you understand how crazy that is. I normally wash my hair everyday, even though I know it’s not the healthiest for my hair. Anyway, I care again!

Things I am looking forward to, and my mini Summer Bucket List…

Getting out in the sunshine a few times a week! With the babies, the days fly by, and I can’t tell you how many times I have had the best intentions to get out for a walk, only to realize that my day was gone.

Reading for pleasure! ย I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t reading about baby development or sleep training.

Cooking a meal once a week! I’ve been doing a lot of sandwiches, pasta, and finishing up our freezer meals. As y’all know, I love to cook and I miss it.

Going to a family friendly outdoor concert! My husband and I are big fans of going to outdoor concerts and we love music. In fact, Saturday mornings are my favorite because we bathe the boys, listen to music and eat breakfast together. We are introducing the boys to our favorites. Anyhow, a family friendly, daytime outdoor concert would be amazing.

Hiking! It’s one of the reasons we love living here, but we haven’t been able to get out lately.

Camping! I know this one is a bit more ambitious, but I really feel like it’s a possibility toward the end of the summer. Let’s talk about that again toward the end of the summer.

Tackle a home renovation project! An extremely cheap home renovation project. Being home just motivates me more, and unfortunately we have no money to put into the house right now. Maybe we will find something we can afford to tackle, and I can share all the details with you.

Writing a post once a week! It would be really lovely to write a little something once a week, to carve out that time for me and you. I’d also love to see how this blog evolves. Like parenting, I’m not making any plans, just trying to go with the flow and listen to my heart.

With that said, it feels great to be back here and to write a little something.

Have a great rest of your week!

xo